Seeing the World

Welp, today was my last official day of responsibilities at Harbor Chapel. It was a somber, sad, exciting and hopeful day all in one. Wierd. It will take weeks, no probably months, to process my transition out of this role that has been central to my life for the past 6 years(w/SVCC and Harbor). Janny has her last day at Bernardus Lodge in Carmel Valley tomorrow and then we have a few open weeks of no responsibilities or work! It will be an important time for us to slow down and process the past and prepare for the future. Especially in evaluating how our vocations are going to connect with our work/careers. Looks like a teaching credential/master's degree is leading the pack for me, while we are still very interested in starting or working at a local non-profit. We will see.

For now...We are going to continue to pursue what has been so formative to our perspectives and relational growth with each other...Traveling!! We found some ridiculous travel deals and will be leaving on Wednesday for Europe and the Middle East. I am really looking forward to stops in Ephesus, Corinth, Malta(where Paul was shipwrecked if I remember correctly) and Egypt. We are also going to spend a few days driving through Germany, Switzerland and the Czech Republic.

I will do my best to get some pics up of our travels as soon as I can. Hope all of your friend/family gatherings have been relationally rich and hopefully not to disruptive to the digestive system!

My Old Roomy

My old roomy and one of my best buddies, Ryan Mcrae, just left tonight after hanging out with us this weekend. It was a GREAT time. I didn't think anyone could love our little, cripple dog Harry more than Jan and I...I may have been wrong. Our couch held two males this weekend. Ryan and....Harry. Inseparable.

Jan and I are at a crazy spot in our lives right now. Weird, exciting, scary and hopeful all at the same time. The things we have spent 90% of our time being part of are all now ending: My work at Harbor Chapel in one week, Jan's work at Bernardus Lodge in one week, and we both FINALLY got our Bachelor's degree's finished in the past month. Now we contemplate Master's, credentials, neither or both. For now, we just look forward to getting our barrings and soaking in/learning our new community here in Santa Cruz. We are excited to experiment in new ways of living out community, church, service, work and lots of fun! Of course, it seems they are all connected anyway.

With most of our responsibilities wrapping up in the next week and no commitments until my next speaking engagement in the end of January, we are going to do some more traveling! We have found that traveling is something we greatly value for a variety of reasons. Especially since we are still holding out on kids! We will keep you all filled in on what we end up doing.

A Night of Reflection

Pic of Annual Broomball Trip


Last night was a night that Jan and I won't forget for the rest of our lives. As most of you know, we are stepping away from our role as Youth Pastor at Harbor Chapel as of Dec. 31. We have been part of that community for the past 4 years and last night they threw an incredible appreciation dinner for us. Not only did they serve one of my all time favorite meals, Lobster Bisque, but we were showered with some serious love.

It is easy for me to feel like I could have done a better job in my time at Harbor. Whether that means spending more time with students or leading in a different direction, etc...Last night, as student after student took the mic and shared memories of our time together, I was blown away by how much God has used what I often feel was so little. I rarely cry, not that I am proud of that, but since crying in my wedding ceremony(take that however you want!), I can only remember crying once. Last night, I couldn't keep it together. Jan and I were both a crying mess and at the end of night when we were handed the mic, I just about lost it. I squeaked out a few words that sounded like the voice of a 6th grader. Humbling, but very real.

As I reflect on it now, I realize that is exactly how it should have gone. Our time in this community was not marked by words...it was marked by action and relationships. No words needed.

Settling In

I will get some pics on the way soon, but Jan, Harry(our little dog) and I have officially made the move to Santa Cruz. We have really been wrestling with where to put down roots and begin to be better at integrating all aspects of life towards God's present Kingdom. Through much prayer, social research and vision for our specific role in participating in God's mission, we have wound up here in S.C.

We have been searching for a LITTLE place for about 2 months now and it has been miserable. Lots of hope, followed by lots of disappointment. This last week we stumbled onto a little one bedroom house with a sweet patio in Seabright. It is right between Capitola and Downtown Santa Cruz.

I just went for a bike ride with Harry in the warm sun and could hear the sea lions as we are only about 6 blocks from the beach. We are feeling VERY blessed and hopeful at what is in store for us here.

We wrap up our time at Harbor Chapel this next month, which is a very emotional transition as we have 4 years of memories and relationships there, and set our eyes on being the church right here in our new community. What that is going to look like is still to be seen, but we are looking forward to experiencing everything along the way.

Hooked Up

So lately I have been waking up in the mornings and looking at the ceiling which is only about 19 inches above my face. It is only 19 inches above my face because for the last year Jan and I have been living in a SMALL master bedroom of a home with 3 other people. Because the room is so small, I had to build a "loft" that is about 7 feet off the ground, so we could fit a couch underneath and have somewhere to sit. Anyway, it is easy to feel like we are lacking, poor or even get into the mentality of "things will be ok when we get this/that."

Back to waking up at looking at the ceiling. Lately as I lay in bed and prepare for my day I have been filled with gratitude. How many people wake up in a warm bed with a ceiling over their head? How many fewer people get out of their bed(or climb down a ladder in our case) and take a warm shower? How many people walk to their kitchen and CHOOSE what to have for breakfast? We are hooked up and I am very grateful. As my friend Mark Scandrette discussed recently, we are surrounded by a culture that embraces a mentality of scarcity or "we don't have enough." We are worried that we don't have this and we need to get that, rather than being grateful for what we already have been given.

Interesting that after God hooked up the Israelites with Manna that He told them to put some in a jar and keep it to look at so they wouldn't forget how well God had provided for them. I need to more often remember the Manna and not get so caught up with attaining the golden calf.

Quote of the Day

This is a great prayer in any situation, but especially in light of the worlds current social and economic chaos:

O Lord, open my eyes that I may see the needs of others; open my ears that I may hear their cries; open my heart so that they need not be without succor; let me not be afraid to defend the weak because of the anger of the strong, nor afraid to defend the poor because of the anger of the rich ... And so open my eyes and my ears that I may this coming day be able to do some work of peace for thee.

- Alan Paton

Traveling in Old Cars

So, I have been waiting to post this blog until I downloaded some pics from our recent road trip, but I never seem to have the camera and my computer in the same spot at the same time. Oh well...

If there is a problem that could happen to a car, it happens to our cars. Janny and I(thankfully!) have AAA roadside assistance and between the two of us we get 8 calls a year. Our policy is about 8 months into the year and we have used 7 of our 8 calls. Anyway, most of the issues are with my old beater truck(we we were sharing for environmental, financial reasons), so we thought we would buy an old beater car that would complement the truck. We now have a 19 year old Honda Accord. It got in an accident about 10 years ago, so it is missing the side paneling and the keys often get stuck in the ignition, but this baby is running like a champ!

A couple weeks ago Jan and I decided to go on a road trip to have a couple days by ourselves and then head down south to visit a bunch of family and friends. It was a great trip...We got to sit under a tree for a couple days and read, just the two of us. Then we got to see new babies, Grandma's, friends and other fam. Good stuff. We drove over a 1000 miles in our 19 year old friend...other than one dead battery, no issues...amazing.

2 days after we got home we had to drive out to Sacramento for a speaking opportunity I had at the National Youth Workers Convention for a few days. It also was a sweet trip and full of insightful perspective and conversation. And yes...the car drove like a stallion.

Cheers to 19 year old beaters!!

Life Transitions

Pic From Our High School Rafting Trip Last Month


I know quite a few you that read this blog are part of our community at Harbor Chapel, so in case you didn't get this letter that we sent out, I have included it here. This is a snapshot into our current thinking and future...

Dear Harbor Chapel Family,

A couple of months ago I was telling our students a story about Jan and I going up to San Francisco to watch a Giants game. Barry Zito was pitching and the fans were going nuts with every pitch. If he did well everyone would cheer. If he did badly, everyone would boo. There was great passion in each one of these fans (myself included!).

As I began to think more about that, I couldn’t help but think about how each one of us is called to participate in the mission of God. Looking at the beautiful, often confusing and extremely engaging story of God that is told through the Bible, it quickly becomes evident that each of us is part of the story whether we like it or not. What is amazing about God’s story is that it is told through the lives of His people. God doesn’t just write out long lectures or essays about how to live in connection with Him, He uses people all through history to show that looks like. There are over 1,000 first names in the Bible. God’s story is told through His people. Everyone is part of God’s story, but He wants more…He is inviting each one of us to be participants in His story. The story didn’t end with the last word in Revelation. It continues to be told through our lives today. God is inviting each one of us out of the bleachers and onto the field. We were not designed to simply read, watch or applaud God’s story of redemption and reconciliation, we are to jump right into the middle of it. That is where God can best use us to advance His Kingdom “on earth as it is in heaven.”

More than ever before in our lives, Jan and I have been able to participate in God’s story through our time here at Harbor Chapel. As we quickly approach 4 years of being part of this community, we can’t help but reflect on all the ways we have been able to see, feel and experience the God of this Biblical story that is continuing to unfold today. We have seen, felt and experienced God through our relationships with each one of you. As most of us know, the church is not something we do. It is who we are. This is why we have loved to serve here at Harbor Chapel. It is not about “doing” church perfectly by playing all the right songs, or playing the best games, or having the best looking wall paper. It is about wrestling with life’s good and bad, sad and hopeful, confusing and assuring experiences that we run into everyday as a community of Jesus followers. We are not called to go to church, we are called to be the church and I have been able to see evidence of the people of Harbor Chapel “being” the church through encountering the reality of God in and through our people. Whether pounding nails with our students on the roof of a home in Mexico, seeing the huge grin of our men after catching a big trout at Hume Lake or encouraging a parent who is begging for advice on how in the world to raise their teenager, the face of God has continually been revealed to us in these years.

When Jan and I first started here at Harbor Chapel, we committed to the role of Youth Pastor for the next 3 years of our lives. This was a great decision. In fact, it was such a great decision that we were offered and accepted the opportunity to continue in this role for another year. That brings us to December 31 of this year. We were again honored with the opportunity to continue in this role for a few more years, but knew that we had a lot of praying, thinking and conversation ahead of us before we could make that decision. Our number one priority in this decision was evaluating how we can best participate in God’s mission for the world based on our God given heart and desires individually and ultimately on our partnership as husband and wife. After MUCH soul searching and vision casting for the future, we have decided not to renew our commitment as Youth Pastor. Although it was one of the hardest decisions of our young marriage, we both have great peace about this decision.

Since I was 19 years old, I have been employed full time as a youth minister. It is less of a job and much more of a lifestyle. While it has been great, as well as very difficult at times, it is a role that we need to step away from for a time. We see this as less of a resignation and more of a passing of the leadership baton. Jan and I may be leading the youth ministry, but more than that, we are two of the partners who have chosen to serve and love our students. Our youth staff is a dynamic and committed group of individuals who have taken on the responsibility of inviting our students into partnership with God in His mission through their being a daily example of Jesus. This youth ministry wasn’t designed to revolve around Jon and Jan, it was designed to revolve around Jesus and around a shared commitment to follow Jesus, while inviting our students to do the same. Our prayer is for that to continue and we are confident that it will.

Jan and I have been offered the opportunity to partner in starting a church and non-profit organization in inner city Oakland that would serve the poor and marginalized of that community. It would be in partnership with two couples whose friendships we greatly value. With that being said, we have decided to pass on that opportunity as well (at least for the immediate future) with our main priority being one that focuses on getting me through school. In January I will go back to school full time to finish my Master’s Degree. I will also work part time and continue to accept speaking engagements at youth camps and conferences. In addition, I am going to spend an extended time working on getting my recently written book published. All the while Jan is planning to work full time in her current role as an esthetician (Skin care for those of you that don’t know what that word means!! I didn’t!!). She has excelled in this career and become well known in her field throughout Monterey County. Jan loves to serve and care for people in this setting.

More than anything, Jan and I hope to model lives that are centered in the Way of Jesus. We hope to be the church with those around us and be willing to serve and love ALL of God’s people in new and creative ways. We are thrilled at this life vocation of following Jesus in ALL of life. Jan and I believe that this affects every aspect of our lives from how we treat others, to where we spend our money, to what we eat, to how we treat God’s creation. God wants everything and we hope to do our best to offer it to Him.

While we don’t know the exact physical location we will end up at this point, we know that Harbor Chapel is our family and it always will be. We are profoundly connected to this community and hope to continue to share and partner in life together with you even if we are not physically present very often. We look forward to sharing our stories and insights and hearing yours!

This is not an “ugly break-up” because of some in-house issue or disagreement. In fact, I consider Pastor Jim one of my closest friends and the board, specifically Doyle Fikes and Keith Barber, have been nothing but supportive through this whole process. We are very grateful that these relationships are so healthy, so we can spend these next few months in celebration of a great partnership and in preparation for the future of our student ministries. Jan and I are greatly looking forward to welcoming and partnering with the Youth Pastor God has in store for this AMAZING group of students!!

Your Family and Friends,

Jon and Jan Huckins

"O'Doyle Rules!"

If anyone has seen the movie Billy Madison with Adam Sandler, they understand the title of this post. My time up at Mt. Hermon these past couple weeks was a great experience. Although at times very tiring (A few different sessions I was teaching with a fever and snot filled nose) and mentally/spiritually draining, it was a very fulfilling experience.

Back to the "O'Doyle Rules" quote from Billy Madison...In the movie the O'Doyle boys are the bullies of the local school who are about twice of the size of the other kids and whose faces are filled with zits. I tried to hang out with the students as much as possible in my time up there. One of the kids was the exact personification of an O'Doyle boy. All week long he would sock me in the shoulder or dig his chin into my back. At one poing when we were all playing water polo he nearly drown me...he was just screwing around and always had a smile on his face, but I was getting pretty annoyed. It was obvious he was a really insecure kid that was just extremely socially awkward.

The last day of the week that he was up there, I saw him in tears sitting on a bench with his counselor. I was later able to hook up with his couselor and hear a bit more of his story. It was a pretty tough one, but he was now sharing it people that cared. The "meat head/bully" front he was putting on was being broken down.

Although I often have different philosophical thoughts and opinions in regards to summer camps, I couldn't help but acknowledge some of the ways God was made evident in my time up there. The counselors modeled service and humility like I had rarely seen in my life. I was the "speaker" who was supposed to have it all together, but in alot of ways I feel that God did most of the speaking to me.

Coffee, Junior Highers and Parking

I will soon be in my third local coffee shop of the morning.

This next week I have the opportunity to participate in one my favorite and most fulfilling aspects of my "job." I will be once again speaking at a week long Junior High camp up at Mount Hermon. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I am a bit disenchanted by most traditional summer camp structures, but my partnership with Mt. Hermon over the years has brought about great hope and encouragement. I really appreciate their understanding of the Gospel and the importance they put on sharing a faith that is more about a daily decision to be an active participate in the Mission of God and less about a one time, decision that can often be lacking authenticity(often because of the setting we create around that decision time).

Anyway, this is the point in my preparation where I have a million ideas, but very little idea of how they are going to all fit together. On top of that, my parking limit runs out every two hours, hence my coming arrival at my third coffee shop. I think I will stick with a water and lemon at the next one...

Unclefest 08

I knew I was excited to be an Uncle for the first time, but this whole deal has been way more incredible that I imagined. My little niece Maddie was born last Wednesday. I complain that the 26 hour wait in the hospital was brutal, but I guess it was worse for Heather...

Endless waiting with papa Tom...His birthing equipment on his head...

Pregame encouragement kiss from bro to sis...

Aunt Janny soaking it in...

Uncle Jon spearing little Maddie with his mean beard...

Confused Vocation

Interesting how there are times/experiences that really suck the life out of you. This past week has been one of those times. It has been a week full of confrontation, REALLY difficult conversations and at times I just felt like I was getting emotionally/spiritually beat up. I haven't yet been able to articulate why these events have happened. Maybe I will never know. There are plenty of worse instances that could have come my way, but I can't help but wonder if they are simply "bound" to happen, or if I have found myself in a spot that I can't win? Hmmm...

This is an insightful quote that I recently read from Parker Palmer in his book Let Your Life Speak. It is a book that wrestles with the idea of vocation. Not just a career, but truly examining the life vocation that God instilled in each one of us from the day we were created. Here is the quote, "As often happens on the spiritual journey, we have arrived at the heart of a paradox: each time a door closes, the rest of the world opens up. All we need to do is stop pounding on the door that just closed, turn around - which puts the door behind us - and welcome the largeness of life that now lies open to our souls. The door that closed kept us from entering a room, but what now lies before us is the rest of reality."

Somehow is the midst of all this crap, I have to be grateful. It is these times that force me to a level of introspection and contemplation that I often overlook. I also find great support and encouragement from those that I am closest with. For now, I pray for discernment in this life of vocation that God has called me to stumble down.

Jesus for President

Last night I had the opportunity to go up to San Francisco with some friends to check out the Jesus for President tour that Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw are leading. Having read most of the book and hearing Shane speak at different venues numerous times, I was pretty stoked to check it out. After a late start and lots of traffic, we walked into San Francisco's Grace Cathedral about 40 minutes late, but we definitely were not too late.

Their sharing, based on their recently published book Jesus for President: A Book to Provoke the Christian Political Imagination, was a type of hopeful protest. I would argue it was prophetic in many of the same ways that the ancient Biblical prophets mourned, cried and offered hope to the empires of the day that were blinding people from the love of God and the coming life of Jesus. They painted clear and powerful pictures of what a revolutionary Jesus truly was within the context of the Roman Empire and discussed His role in bringing about a Kingdom that was much greater than the ruling Roman Empire...one that was not greater because of its brute force, military strength, material possession or social status, but one that would turn the other cheek, serve the poor and oppressed and set their swords down for acts of love and kindness.

After a 4th of July weekend that was filled with patriotism directed towards the greatness of one country, I have been wrestling with Christians (myself included) beings so willing to pledge their allegiance to ideals and actions that are often so blatantly counter to Jesus teachings and way of life. Didn't Jesus come to save the WHOLE world? If that is the case, shouldn't we be singing "God bless the WORLD," not just "God bless America?" I believe it is bordering on idolatry and I don't want to subconsciously grow numb to where I put my hope. Do I put my hope in America to change the world? Or do I more appropriately put my hope in Jesus and His people to change the world? Jesus did say something about serving two masters didn't He?

All that to say, it's not that I'm anti America, it's that I'm anti a nationalism that blurs and distorts my commitment to Jesus and my pursuit to live in His ways. There are alot of great things about this land we live in and I am grateful. At the same time, I am not willing to fall into a way of thinking or acting that reflects more of my nationalism that my Christianity.

Good Quote from Shane: "The Kingdom question for us is not how are we going to vote on November 4th, it is how are we going to live on Nov. 3rd and Nov. 5th? Voting is something to we do every day with our lives...who are we pledging allegiance to every single day?"

This is a good clip to check out on the topic: http://youtube.com/watch?v=SfLdVazh33E

Bridge of Hope

Wow, it has been a while...Things have been a bit hectic and in fact I am on a 5 day trip with our High School students right now. I hope this isn't a sign of some unhealthy and chaotic rhythm's creeping back into my life. Need to keep that in check...

So, this trip we are on right now... I have had this burning passion/vision for a "summer camp" without many of the usual "campy" characteristics. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great things that happen at camp and many authentic people that run them, I just have a hard time with a week that is often set up to climax on the "alter call night." It is almost as though it is one big show/entertainment with the hopes of logging a few more conversions to a post camp email update. I hope that doesn't sound as sarcastic I it looks. There is often preaching about repenting from a lifestyle that doesn't honor God or His Creation, while being fed sloppy joe's and corn syrup "drink." It can just feel disconnected.

This week Larry and I have done our best to set up an experience that takes into account ALL of life as an act of worship and repentance. This includes everything from what we are eating(lots of raw and local food), to how we entertain, to how we serve, to how we interact with each other, to how we view ourselves, all with the hopes of pointing us/connecting us to the God who beautifully put this composition together.

We obviously don't have all this figured out, but there was an encouraging experience that gave some affirmation that we may be on the right track.

One of the first days of this experience, we participated in the Bridge of Hope. It is an organization that works through a nursing home that is designed for the elderly and the disabled. Primarily the mentally disabled. It is a beautiful place, with incredibly beautiful people that we had the opportunity to hang out with for a while.

As I sat and had a long conversation with a sweet lady named Sharon who had recently gone through back surgery, while at the same time undergoing dialysis, I experienced a moment that felt as though heaven was crashing into earth. I soaked in her story, from family history to spiritual beliefs and looked around at our students interacting and fully participating in these precious people's lives right along side of me. At first the students were a bit scared and overwhelmed, but they tentatively began to ask names, shake hands and even give hugs. The people who lived in this home are a forgotten people. Many of them had families, but most of the families had abandoned them once they became disabled. This is a place where I could imagine Jesus would have chosen to hang out...

As I soaked in the scene I was on the edge of tears. When we serve these people, we are serving Jesus(Matt. 25:40). These students got to see Jesus first hand and I would have to imagine that these down and out folks were able to see Jesus right back through the smiles and hugs of these students.

Anyway, I am greatly encouraged to see where this "experiment" in a new way of living is headed. I am humbled and hopeful to be part of it.

Post Hibernation

There is a long standing joke between me and my good buddy Chip Johnson. We both love sunshine, shorts, sandals and long summer days. Every spring around day light savings we say that "it is finally time to come out of hibernation." It is like the whole winter we are just hunkered down, much like my little dog harry in front of the fireplace, waiting for life to once again begin. It is like a hypothetical re-birth if you will...I will(As my sis Wendy would add). That being said, hibernation is over and it is time for sunshine, shorts, sandals and long summer days.

Apparently, this "re-birth" phenomenon is passing through the systems of my family and friends like a dried apricot. It seems that as soon there was word of sunshine and summer everyone decided to have a kid, get married or graduate from something. In the next month or so Jan and I will be attending or participating in a few weddings, what seems to be about 97 graduations and will be called Aunt Jan and Uncle Jon in the garbled baby language of our soon to be niece Maddie(hope I spelled that right).

All that to say, this may be a busy, but a very hopeful time. Lots of "re-birth" and quite literal birth. Along with our share of awkward conversations with random acquaintances, I'm sure there will be some rich sharing of life and stories of the past and future. Lots of hopeful smiles and new friendships. Soon, birth and re-birth may have a whole new meaning to me.

Cheers to the Post Hibernation Season!!

Living in the Tension

It was just about 11 days ago that I was standing on the deck of our ship leaving Croatia with a gentleman named Charles having a friendly conversation. He worked on the ship as a bartender and was able to cut out of work for a few minutes to come see the beautiful Islands we were in the process of sailing by. Jan took off to get ready for dinner and I turned and asked him if he had ever been to this part of the world before. He looked back at me with a huge grin and said that he hadn't and mentioned that his home was in India. I was immediately intrigued, as I know very little about the country, other than any media bias I have picked up from the news. I asked him a bunch of questions ranging from his family life in India to the working conditions he was living under on the ship. He shared with me that his mother worked in Iraq as a maid to support his family while he was growing up. She only was able to come home every 2 years, so he was forced to raise himself and take care of his alcoholic father. I was touched by his story, while being fascinated that all throughout his retelling he had a very joyful expression, full of peace and gratitude. It was as though he was able to experience moments like these sailing through the islands of Croatia with a perspective that was far richer than most because of what he had seen in his life.

Further along in our conversation, he asked me what I did for a job. I told him that I am pastor and he immediately told me that he was also a Christian. Because of my limited knowledge of India and its culture, I was surprised to hear this. He went on to explain that there are a lot of Christians in his country as a result of Portuguese missionaries that populated their land long ago. This led to further conversation about India's history and led all the way up to the powerful, non-violent influence of Ghandi and his legacy there. That was nearly the only name and story that I recognized in our discussion. I was humbled and even a bit embarrassed by the limited international history that I had to offer. Even though he knew the detailed history of India, a substantial amount about English, Russian and American history, he was gracious with my ignorance. I asked him how he knew so much about so many countries and he simply said he was taught most of it in school and his country held international history as a core value.

I'm not here to slam our American educational system, but I do question our(my) willingness to objectively hear the detailed story of the counties that co-inhabit the earth. We live in a culture that breeds the "us VS them" mentality and it creates a toxic disconnect with people that God has called each of us to love.

In my travels these past few months, I have been surrounded and blessed by conversations much like that of the one I had with my Indian friend Charles off the coast of Croatia. I am so grateful for these friends that have humbly and willingly taught me a perspective that is much more rich and whole than I previously held. I hope that I have also been used in some way to help shape the perspective of those I have come in contact with.

To say the least, this has been a fertile learning experience saturated with the presence of God in all these places and people. That being said, I now step back into "reality" at home and am faced with the task of re-entering a culture and context that can tend to be one sided and blind to the issues of the world. I am having a hard time. I hope to be a critical, yet hopeful voice, without being a cynical one. This is the beautiful tension in which I(we) must live. I am FAR from having all the answers and these "revelations" aren't new to me as I feel that I have been wrestling with them for years, but I now feel more passionate about bringing them to light and into reality today.

Conversation VS Debate

Jan and I went for the Titanic shot...We had a good laugh...

This is a journal that I wrote of an thought provoking experience I had while sailing across the Atlantic a few weeks ago. Thought it fit with the last story about "Speaker's Corner."

Ironic that my title is one of debate, when I am prepared to make a point against it. Just a reason for further conversation I suppose.

As I sit trying to work on my book proposal that I need to finish sooner than later, I am consumed by a conversation that is transpiring right behind me.

My wife is constantly catching me tuning into the conversations of those around us when we are at a meal or sitting in a public setting. There is some inherited curiosity that I simply can’t resist from time to time. I don’t like to think of myself as a nosy person who has to be part of everyone’s “business,” but I guess I figure if one is to talk loud enough in a public setting that I can hear them they are giving me the go ahead to listen in. Anyway, not an attribute that I am proud of…

I am sitting in a lounge of a cruise looking at one of the most breath taking views I could ask for. I am in a chair that looks right over the bow of the ship and all I can see if a vast expanse of dark blue water, a multi colored late afternoon sky and lightly dusted clouds. Incredible.

There are two older folks sitting behind me with the apparent intention of playing some from of bridge or cribbage. One is about a 55 year old male and the other a 70ish female. It is evident through their conversation that they are not in a relationship, but recent acquaintances.

There conversation begins to take an interesting turn when I hear the guy describe his role of being a teacher of Christian Apologetics. In fact, I can honestly say, until I heard those words I wasn’t listening to a thing they were saying. From this point on in their conversation, it becomes very one sided.

It is obvious that they have different believes on science, history, evolution, etc…The gentleman begins about a 30 minute rant about his accurate “Christian” understandings of the world and the inaccurate belief systems of the rest of the world. His arguments are almost delivered in a sarcastic and condescending way. It was obvious that he had this “talk” prepared as he went from one point to the next. As can be imagined he was overpowering her with his canned intellect and left her with very little to say or argue back. It was as though her posture went from an interested participant to a defensive and discouraged opponent. As the conversation continued my heart began to break.

The gentleman’s arguments where very convincing and he even was using scripture from time to time to make a point. At one point he paraphrased the passage in I Peter 3, that says Christians should be prepared to have an answer for everything. It is very apparent that he has spent a lot of time doing his best have ALL the answers.

I am a proponent of sharing my faith with others through conversation. A mutual dialog that isn’t centered on intellect or convincing argument, but rather on the sharing of stories and experiences that form our view and/or relationship with Jesus. I’m not saying this is the ONLY way to share with others, but forcing data onto a confused or unwanting person doesn’t seem to be what Jesus meant when He told us told us to share the Good News.

What really discouraged me was finding out that this woman who was taking this “Apologetics data beating” was a women that my wife and I had had some great interactions with earlier in the week. In fact we were planning on sharing a meal together with her and her husband later in the week. Hearing this “conversation” she was having, I can’t help but imagine that she will be more closed off than ever from the transformational and highly relational message of Jesus.

Hopefully I am wrong, but can’t help but vent some frustration towards “my own” in our willingness to self righteously offer data rather than simply share a life lived with Jesus through healthy and very mutual conversation. Maybe we can learn from this and begin to love people towards the Kingdom in new and creative ways in a hopeful/inviting posture rather than one of intellectual defense.

Speaker's Corner

So Jan and I are staying in London right now with some friends. We are a bit worn out from all the cold and rain, but it is a beautiful city and today actually got a little bit of sun. The sights and history are incredible, but there was one spot that really caught my attention.

There is a park in the middle of town that has one area designated as the "Speaker's Corner." When we first drove by it(in our huge and cheesy open air tourist bus...) I thought it was an area for politicians to come and give their sh peel on their proposed policy. After all, there is an election coming up here on May 1st. Anyway, after driving by I found out that it was a place where ANYONE was welcome to come, stand on a ladder or box of some kind and just let loose. They could talk about any topic to anyone who was willing to listen. This intrigued me...

We continued to tour the city, but intentionally came back to this Speaker's Corner to hear what it was all about. There we hundreds of people all crowded around various speakers who were getting fired up on issues of war, religion and philosophy. It was quite interesting to note that the overwhelming majority of the discussions were that of Muslim VS Christianity. There would be a Muslim on one ladder going to town and a Christian a few yards away going to town. For the most part, there was plenty of space offered in the middle of the speeches for public dialog. Someone in the crowd would shout out a disagreement with the speaker and then they would begin to discuss their disagreement in front of the masses. Others would join in and the discussion continued...

Occasionally there would be a more heated dialog that would take place that was a bit out of control and led to strong words, but in general this was very rare. On one hand it was very saddening to realize how many areas we can figure out to disagree with each other and allow that to lead to relational disconnect. On the other it was really encouraging to see a group of people not only culturally "allowed" to speak in such raw ways, but willing to discuss and process in such a raw way. I would have to imagine when Jesus was a kid speaking in the "temple courts" it has to be with some kind of open dialog much like this. How far we have come from this healthy dialog in most of our cultures!

Anyway, as I stood intrigued by one of the speakers who was doing his best to disprove the existence of the Divine Trinity, a gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and asked me what I believed. I began to share with him of my love for Jesus and my resolve to do my best to live out His ways on a day to day basis. I also mentioned that I didn't necessarily relate with many of the "Christians" who have chosen to preach a message far from what I see as Jesus teachings and have to some degree given us a really bad name. I asked him of his believes and he mentioned that he was a Muslim. He had a sweet beard, much more impressive than mine...

We began about a half hour conversation on the teachings of Jesus, the letters of Paul in the New Testement, the Mosaic Law, I even got to share a little bit on one of my favorite Hebrew words "Echad" in relation to the divine Oneness of Jesus and God...He was a very humble man, with many great things to say and during our discussion quite a few people came and went to listen in. Much of what he had to say had to deal with Pauline writing being inaccurate to the teachings of Jesus. He mentioned that if it weren't for the books that Paul wrote, Christianity and Islam would be very similar. Much had to do with Paul's interpretation of Grace apart from the Law. We shared back and forth and as we were talking I came to realize that we could learn alot from each other, but trying to convince each other was not going to get us anywhere. I explained to him that our conversation was great, but a debate was not what we needed. We shared what we believed and what we were most passionate about and respectfully listened. After acknowledging our mutual respect for each other we shook hands, thanked each other for the conversation and went on our ways. It was beautiful. A small piece of heaven on earth in my perspective. Maybe if we create more contexts like this, there would be more communication and understanding and less hatred and violence...

Picture: This is a picture Jan apparently took during our conversation

On the Road That Leads to the Next Country and To Fresh Perspective

In traveling with my wife Jan for the past 3 months, I have been able to read some insightful books, have some profound conversations (with people from all over the world) and experience some life altering events. I hope this can be a place where I am able to process a few things and have some conversation/dialog with others that may be willing to wrestle with some of the same realities that I find myself in. That being said, I am a bit of a skeptical "blogger" as I have seen many that seem to be nothing more than a cyber platform for self approval... please keep me accountable to avoid that.

This is the first time I have ever, not only been oversees, but been removed from work, school, buddies, family, etc...for an extended amount of time. It has been quite an adjustment, but very insightful at the same time. To wake up in the morning and know that all that is required of me is to love my wife and check out the world is an incredibly freeing feeling. A mindset that has been FAR from reality in our first few years of marriage. Although I must admit that I have been very unhealthy in my inability to embrace this mentality and it has taken much accountability from Jan to allow me to begin to release the anxiety, stress and speed of the life that I was living. Now, having been in that mindset for a few months, it is not hard to identify some of the toxic patterns and rhythms that I have been living in back at home. At the same time, I don't intend on returning home (I can't help but think of the good intentioned first year college student who comes home for the summer and is ready to change the world, but has no idea where to start) and turning everyone's TV's into flower boxes, while chanting "hand me a hammer, because I have all of life nailed!" Interesting tension to live in...one that knows change is needed, but also knows that change must come about out of a spirit of humility, a sensitivity to the well being of others and to that of the Spirit. In fact, it is a tension that reminds me of the prophet Jeremiah who was so aware of the changes that needed to be made by the people of Israel, but was forced to get exceedingly creative in how to articulate that message to the people. A book that I recently finished called Prophetic Imagination by Walter Brueggeman gives some great commentary on that tension...worth the time of another post at some point.

Over the past 3 months I have had extended conversations with a WIDE variety of folks. We lived next to a 54 year old Canadian gentleman for a month in Costa Rica and we would play cribbage most every morning and evening. We would share a good laugh, talk American politics(not an area I am too well versed), process the death of his wife just 3 years earlier and even got to teach him to surf. I connected with a guy on our cruise ship who was in his late 20's and had just been kidnapped(and now released) in Brazil a few months ago while shooting a documentary. He was now traveling with his girlfriend with a whole new perspective on life, which led to some great conversation and shared experience. Jan and I shared a train cabin with an elderly Italian couple and two young Italian men. We heard their perspectives on "the U.S." Presidential campaigns(which everyone follows closely in Europe because we tend to have a HUGE impact on global conflict), learned a few Italian words and Jan even gave the older woman a back and neck massage because she was in terrible pain...it was beautiful! That led to an extended conversation with a Colonel in the U.S. Army who is stationed in Stockholm, who offered a very objective look at the foreign perception of the U.S. and their military endeavors. And the list goes on and on and on...

I am really grateful for these people, experiences and conversations. I suppose it is now my responsibility to wade through so much of what I have taken in and begin to discern how that may affect so much of what I have viewed as "normal" back home. Again, my greatest challenge is to move forward out of a spirit of humility, love for those around me and a sensitivity to the leading of the Spirit...We will see how it goes!

Picture: My buddy Brian and me in Costa Rica and Jan and I at the Colosseum in Rome